If you’ve ever been to a rave, then you know how the bass reverberates through the crowd, like ocean waves slowly cresting into rhythmic whitecaps before crashing onto the shore with a thunderous drop.
Somewhere in the crowd of ecstatic ravers, you’ll find Chenny and I, pressed closely together, unaware of the other cosmic souls surrounding us.
We’re vibrating to a different frequency, one that’s uniquely ours, the pulsing bass becoming a backdrop to a love story written in dance, sweat, and shared heartbeats.
It’s no coincidence that Chenny and I’s first unofficial date was an ecstatic dance, and our first official date was a Four Tet show in Brooklyn.
Nothing else in my lifetime has brought me so much genuine, overflowing joy as spending close, intimate time with Chenny at an EDM show.
Always in search of our next EDM dance party, we belong to a special email list that keeps us up to date with underground raves that pop up in Toronto (where we live).
On Sunday, while eating lunch, we received a notification about a random daytime rave, underneath a highway overpass, happening later that same day.
Despite it being cold (~40F/4.5C), we went anyway.
It was the right decision. We had an amazing time.
As the temperature suddenly dipped, we draped an oversized jacket around both of us, pressing close together, using the jacket to trap our body heat and keep us warm.
And in that very moment of shared warmth amidst the biting cold, I had a vivid insight into what co-creating a deep, meaningful relationship truly feels like.
The sensation was strong and intense — I had to close my eyes for a minute just to fully appreciate the gift I was receiving.
I’m sharing my experience here today, if for no other reason than to document it and permanently etch it into my soul, a treasure I’m downloading into my cells and carrying with me.
Table of Contents
Letting the magnet in your heart lead you throw the storm (image credit)
Imagine yourself in the grip of a relentless blizzard, enveloped in a curtain of white rage, intent on suffocating you with tiny particles of ice.
You’re only a few blocks from home, but every step makes the distance feel like a mile.
The snowy tempest obscures your vision, and your once familiar surroundings become an uncharted tundra.
Each gust stings your face, the cold penetrating deep into your bones, and your boots seem to sink deeper with every step, threatening to chain you to the frozen wasteland for all eternity.
Even your thoughts are muffled and stifled, drowned out by the deafening roar of the storm.
But through it all, one frightening, uncertain thought gnaws its way to the surface:
“How will I ever make it back home?”
Your heart races.
Fear sets in.
But in the midst of the Mother Nature’s overpowering might, you close your eyes, and ask your heart what to do.
A faint, magnetic pull emerges from your depths.
The feeling is soft but persistent, guiding every shivering, shuffling step through the snow.
This magnet, guided by love’s compass, knows the way home…it always has.
And then, just before you are about to collapse and become one with arctic barren, the blizzard relents.
You look up, eyelashes crusted with snow and ice, and see the porch light of your house, a singular beacon of yellow hope set against a snow white backdrop.
With joints stiff from the cold, you stagger up the icy stairs, and as you step inside, the chill of the outside world falls away like an elder monk shedding his worn, tattered cloak.
There, seated at the kitchen counter, is your partner.
They have a cup of warm tea in front of them, the steam from the cup playfully dancing upwards.
Their smile, warm and gentle, welcomes you back from the ordeal.
You carefully peel off your frost-heavy jacket, and instantly, a wave of intense physical and emotional warmth washes over you, immediately healing and invigorating.
Before your partner is able to offer a word of sympathy for your anguished trek, you smile and softly say:
“It doesn’t matter. I’m home now.”
And then you find yourself enveloped in a hug so profoundly tight that the magnetic connection completes, your souls touch and swirl together, and the rest of the world simply disappears behind you.
The journey, no matter how hard, doesn’t matter — you’re home now.
Co-creating a temple of love with your partner (image credit)
A sacred temple of love is a quandary of juxtapositions and contradictions.
At the same time, it’s both:
Building the temple requires holding two opposing, incongruent ideas at the same time and accepting both as equally true.
And it requires deep, deep forgiveness.
Without such delicate care and attention, the temple will eventually crumble.
The goal is to build a temple so sacred, so brightly shining with love, that you and your partner will be able to find each other through the blizzard in the next lifetime and the next and the next.
The temple is your lighthouse, your guiding star through the dark, expansive universe.
Chenny and I at a rave, shining in our cosmic connection
During your daily life, you need to venture outside into the storm.
Work, chores, and obligations require you to tightly lace your snow boots, wrap yourself in a puffy winter coat, and pull on your warmest gloves before you step out into wintry unknown.
It’s frigid in the real-world.
And it’s dangerous.
But it’s also necessary to venture out at times.
You need to:
Growth happens on the edges.
After a genuine day’s work is complete, ideally having made the world a slightly better place, you return home.
You shake the snow off your boots.
You feel — deep within your heart — that you’re loved and safe.
And, back in the devoted arms of your lover, you find more meaning and connection together than you ever did on your own.
Life is one big journey, an existential acid trip — sometimes the trip can turn dark and scary.
But, if you co-create a place of sacred love with your partner, where you treat each other with deep affection, warmth, and tenderness, then the intensity of the trip lessens.
The shadows recede, and sunlight starts to peek through the clouds.
Eventually, you realize that you’re just riding waves — one swell after the other — you can’t control the rippling, undulating ocean, but together, you can navigate its vastness.
Mastering this this connection and unity rewards you with life’s greatest pleasure:
To connect with another person on a truly intimate, cosmic level.
And honestly, that’s the best feeling this world has to offer.
Adrian Rosebrock. “Raves, Relationships, and Refuge: Crafting Our Sacred Temple of Love”, NaturalDisasters.ai, 2023, https://naturaldisasters.ai/posts/raves-relationships-refuge-crafting-sacred-temple-love/.
@incollection{ARosebrock_RavesRelationshipsRefuge,
author = {Adrian Rosebrock},
title = {Raves, Relationships, and Refuge: Crafting Our Sacred Temple of Love},
booktitle = {NaturalDisasters.ai},
year = {2023},
url = {https://naturaldisasters.ai/posts/raves-relationships-refuge-crafting-sacred-temple-love/},
}
AI generated content disclaimer: I’ve used a sprinkling of AI magic in this blog post, namely in the “Takeaways” section, where I used AI to create a concise summary of this article. Don’t fret, my human eyeballs have read and edited every word of the AI generated content, so rest assured, what you’re reading is as accurate as I possibly can make it. If there are any discrepancies or inaccuracies in the post, it’s my fault, not that of our machine assistants.
Header photo by Amy Geiger on Brooklyn Vegan
The young, child version of myself was capable of intense, profound love, but I lost the ability to love with such potency before my 10th birthday. Join me as I rekindle it, and learn to love authentically and completely once again.
Recommended by Andrew Huberman and Rick Rubin, laying down and not moving for 30-60 minutes during the middle of the work day can help boost creativity and reset your nervous system.
A story of courage, self-love, and embracing the act of creation without the bounds of materialistic pursuits.
