“Follow your bliss, and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”
Sherry Walling, Touching Two Worlds
While I’m enjoying exploring NaturalDisasters.ai, I feel the need to acknowledge that I’m also experiencing strong feelings of isolation and alienation.
Many of my friends and acquaintances struggle to comprehend when I share that I’m taking a six-month hiatus from “making money” — a concept, that, admittedly, is quite nebulous — and instead, redirecting my focus towards the emotional release evoked by the act of creation.
When I immerse myself in creation, whether it be writing code, authoring an article, or brain dumping my thoughts into my journal, there is a surge of indescribable joy and fulfillment, and I become wholly present in the moment.
I create for creations sake, just as a kid I would play for playing’s sake — playing was its own reward.
Eventually, I’d like to remove the word “work” from my vocabulary altogether.
In my ideal world, I never work, only create — and if at some point creation makes me money again (like it did when I ran PyImageSearch), amazing — but I’m not going to trade my time and precious energy for dollars any longer.
That part of my life is over.
But try conveying that concept to a circle of friends, namely other business owners and entrepreneurs, who are conditioned to measure success in dollar signs in both their personal and professional lives?
I literally see their eyes glaze over, absently nodding along, flippantly remarking something along the lines of “Yeah, that’s cool…”
…but they don’t realize that I’m highly attuned to their non-verbal cues.
I can tell from their body language, the look in their eyes, and their palpable aura literally radiating off their skin that they think it’s anything but cool, they just don’t have the guts to tell me their honest feelings to my face.
While I still love these friends, they just don’t get it, and trying to explain it to them would be a waste of both our time and energy — we’re just vibrating at different frequencies.
Luckily, I spent yesterday catching up with my good friend, Danny Feldman, who does get it.
Danny is a fellow entrepreneur, and has gone through his own fair share of struggles, finding meaning in both his work and personal life (or, at the very least, making great strides towards deeper meaning).
As soon as I told him about NaturalDisasters.ai, and my plans to take time off from making money, he smiled and gave me a big hug.
He was proud of me for having the courage to take this big step, and he urged me continue leaning into it.
Then, he offered me some of the best advice I have ever received, which I’m going to share with you today.
Table of Contents
From left to right: Drew, myself, and Danny
After I told Danny about my feelings of isolation, he shared a story regarding one of his trusted friends and mentors who once told him:
“Make a list of all the things that bring you contentment, satisfaction, and joy. The list will be small to start, likely only 1-3 items per category. That’s fine, you’re new to thinking this way about your own happiness. Once you have this list, start incorporating one or more of these activities per day. Really savor the feeling while you’re doing the activity. Over time, it will get easier, and you’ll be able to spot other activities in your life that bring you similar feelings of joy.”
It’s a beautiful idea, and I immediately fell in love with the concept (I’ll even share my list for each category later in this article).
I’m well aware that it’s going to be a journey and take practice; I admit that I’m not great at making time for my own happiness.
But I’m here for it.
I make no illusions.
Anything worth having in life takes time, effort, and sacrifice to obtain.
Sacrificing my own happiness was a behavior I learned from childhood (image credit)
I grew up in a household where it was unwise to rock the boat, and draw too much attention to myself.
My mother was extremely mentally ill.
It was normal for her to suffer multiple mental breakdowns per week, turning vicious and cruel, lashing out at myself and my father with venomous remarks, meant to penetrate and harm.
One autumn evening, as one of my mother’s tumultuous episodes was ramping up, my father gave me a piece of advice that has, unfortunately, been permanently imprinted on my memory:
“Keep your head low. Don’t draw attention to yourself.”
Great instruction for a kid just trying to survive in a broken home, but poor advice for an adult to internalize.
To be fair, his advice came from a place of protection, not wanting me to bear the brunt of my mother’s vitriol.
On many occasions, when my mom persisted in her confrontation with me, my dad would intervene in the dispute, even though the argument didn’t directly involve him.
His intervention — quite literally physically inserting himself between myself and my mom — was his way of redirecting her uncontrollable, hysterical outcry from me onto him.
He was absolutely furious with my mom in those situations (and, trust me, it showed in his reaction to her), but at its core, his anger stemmed from a profound sense of love and concern for me.
It must have been gut wrenchingly painful for him to feel like he had to choose between his wife and his son.
I can’t fathom how he endured that situation for so long; persisting in such circumstances must require an immense amount of inner strength, and also a neglect for one’s own personal well-being.
While dad did his best, the home life circumstance also took a toll on our relationship.
My dad, who also endured a challenging childhood, had limited resilience for intense emotional turmoil, and that thin reserve was swiftly drained whenever my mother became lost in her shadow energy.
The environment, as well as the relationship between myself and both my parents, created an explosive, volatile place for me to grow up.
Emotions weren’t safe in that house.
I couldn’t show emotion around my mom, they would be cataloged and used against me in a few days or weeks.
Similarly, emotions weren’t safe around my father — they would be met with defensive anger and demands to suppress them.
As a result, it’s often easier for me to dismiss my own needs and feelings, and instead support others, putting their wants and needs above my own in a (faulty) effort to keep the peace and avoid arguments.
Doing so can make me a great friend to others, but also makes it easier for me to feel taken advantage of — and it’s to no fault of my friends, it’s on me, because I’m not speaking up and saying what I need in a given moment.
I’m changing that though.
It’s time to make my own contentment, satisfaction, and joy a priority.
It’s been so long since I’ve thought about what truly makes me feel content, satisfied, and joyful that, if prompted, I genuinely couldn’t tell you the difference between the three.
Logically, I know there is a hierarchy between them — contentment coming first, then satisfaction, and finally joy — each stage with their own nuances.
But in order to create a list of activities that instill me with each feeling, I had to look up their definitions in the dictionary:
A state of happiness and satisfaction.
Dictionary definition of “contentment”
This little dog has gotten me through more hard times than I can count
After Tara and I got divorced, it was common for me to pick up my dog, Janie, hug her, and walk around the house, blankly staring out the windows, with her in my arms for 5-10 minutes at a time.
In those moments, I was dealing with extremely dark shadow energy, and while I’m well versed in handling my shadow, it was particularly difficult post-divorce.
Holding Janie close helped keep me tethered to the physical world.
I love reading. I find it both educational and meditative.
I predominately enjoy nonfiction and literature (namely the classics; anything that has existed for over 50 years).
My schedule hasn’t allowed me to read as much as I used to, and I’m actively looking for opportunities to bring reading back into my daily routine.
Fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this.
Dictionary definition of “satisfaction”
Myself, deep in a creative flow state
I live to create. If I go more than a few days at a time without creating, a part of my soul starts to shrivel and wilt.
The two years after PyImageSearch was acquired were some of the darkest moments of my life. I was so tired, so exhausted, that I could barely get out of bed, let alone actually create anything.
It felt like part of me died during that time, and it’s only now starting to reawaken.
Most of the time, I create through writing code or authoring content — in the case of both PyImageSearch and NaturalDisasters.ai, I’ve been able to combine the two.
It’s my intention to continue both writing code and authoring content, and I’d also like to explore other ways that creation makes me feel pleasure and satisfaction.
Above all else, creation needs to be the priority to incorporate into my daily routine.
Without it, I die.
Myself in peak physical condition
I love fitness, and perhaps it’s no surprise that two of my closest friends are personal trainers.
The feeling I get after pushing my physical body is an intoxicating natural high that makes me feel powerful, capable of tackling crushing amounts of adversity.
I have to be careful though — there’s been times in my life where I chased the “workout high” too far, practically treating it like an addiction, leading to my physical body becoming too exhausted and depleted, rebelling against me.
It’s a delicate balance, one that I constantly have to pay attention to.
A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
Dictionary definition of “joy”
I’m a coffee snob, more than willing to spend $8+ per cup on a high-quality roast.
I take my coffee so seriously that it has its own category in my monthly budgeting spreadsheet ($250/month, if you’re curious).
I don’t drink alcohol, so excellent coffee is something I allow myself to indulge in quite often.
In particular, that first sip, letting the dark, bitter liquid roll around on my tongue before I swallow, transports me to a place of joy and contentment in the present moment.
Spiritual intimacy is now the cornerstone of my life (image credit)
For the vast majority of my adult life, sex has been both mechanical and transactional — two people coming together and trading their bodies and needs for fleeting moments of satisfaction.
These sexual encounters have often left me feeling depleted and emotionally adrift, navigating through a sea of transient pleasures and lingering emptiness.
Only in the past two years have I begun to embrace sex as a sacred, spiritual communion, intertwining elements of tantra, mindfulness, meditation, and Kundalini breathing.
The innate connection between myself and my partner is further enriched by these additional layers, nourishing my spirit in ways that I never could have previously imagined.
Trading punk, ska, and hardcore for EDM and DNB (image credit)
As you may imagine, I had a lot of teenage angst.
Growing up, I listened to predominately punk, ska, and hardcore music. My late teens and twenties were spent at types types of shows.
This past year I’ve transitioned over to electronic music, predominately EDM (Electronic Dance Music) and DNB (Drum and Bass).
It’s been a beautiful shift — going to shows for music literally crafted for highly sensitive people such as myself.
In fact, Chenny and I considering making 2024 all about EDM, traveling the world with friends to experience the the best artists in the genre.
As Danny advised me, my contentment, joy, and satisfaction lists are small to start — I’m just learning how to think of my own happiness as a priority.
But, with practice, it will become easier.
Integration is key (image credit)
Now that I have my lists, I’m going to try incorporating one or more of them into my daily routine.
The trick is to not make them an obligation — making them a responsibility defeats the purpose.
They are meant to be gifts to yourself, and if you obligate yourself to them, you run the risk of turning them into chores.
I’m here to nourish myself, and I’m treating these sacraments as sacred offerings to my mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Or, maybe it confirms that I’ve effectively lost my damn mind.
But, for the moment at least, I appreciate the clarity authoring this article has given me, and I pay respect to both my spirit and mind for allowing this outpouring to happen.
In sharing my journey, I hope to inspire others to delve into their own emotional landscapes, identifying and honoring what truly brings them joy, satisfaction, and creative fulfillment.
May we all find the courage to prioritize our happiness and navigate our paths with authenticity and joy.
Adrian Rosebrock. “How I’m Choosing Joy, Satisfaction, and Creative Freedom in My Daily Life”, NaturalDisasters.ai, 2023, https://naturaldisasters.ai/posts/choosing-joy-satisfaction-creative-freedom-daily-life/.
@incollection{ARosebrock_ChoosingJoySatisfactionCreativeFreedom,
author = {Adrian Rosebrock},
title = {How I'm Choosing Joy, Satisfaction, and Creative Freedom in My Daily Life},
booktitle = {NaturalDisasters.ai},
year = {2023},
url = {https://naturaldisasters.ai/posts/choosing-joy-satisfaction-creative-freedom-daily-life/},
}
AI generated content disclaimer: I’ve used a sprinkling of AI magic in this blog post, namely in the “Takeaways” section, where I used AI to create a concise summary of this article. Don’t fret, my human eyeballs have read and edited every word of the AI generated content, so rest assured, what you’re reading is as accurate as I possibly can make it. If there are any discrepancies or inaccuracies in the post, it’s my fault, not that of our machine assistants.
Header photo by Rachael Gorjestani on Unsplash
The young, child version of myself was capable of intense, profound love, but I lost the ability to love with such potency before my 10th birthday. Join me as I rekindle it, and learn to love authentically and completely once again.
Dive into my intimate journey of love and EDM, exploring deep connection and the sacred temple my partner and I have built together.
Recommended by Andrew Huberman and Rick Rubin, laying down and not moving for 30-60 minutes during the middle of the work day can help boost creativity and reset your nervous system.
